#1 Great Mood

Over the next 10 days (well I should say 10ish cuz I probably won't be able to get on EVERYday) I'm going to go over the 10 subtle signs of bipolar disorder and how they relate to me. Should be good therapy right? By the way, I got these signs off health.com. You can read the article here. Each day I'll put down the sign and what the article describes for it. Then how I relate.

The first subtle sign is: Great Mood
Bipolar disorder is characterized by up-and-down episodes of mania and depression. During a manic phase, some patients can have a total break from reality.

But hypomania, which is also a symptom of the disorder, is a high-energy state in which a person feels exuberant but hasn’t lost his or her grip on reality.

“Hypomania can be a pretty enjoyable state, really,” Dr. Bearden says. A person’s mood can be elevated, they may have a lot of energy and creativity, and they may experience euphoria. This is the “up” side of bipolar disorder that some people with the condition actually enjoy—while it lasts.

How I relate: I have plenty of times when I have elated moods. Not just being happy but elated happy. Like the article said it can be quite enjoyable too! Going around very happy is contagious and is fun. Everyone enjoys you when you are happy. You are the life of the party etc. Outgoing, etc. This one I definitely relate to!!

So-so

Today wasn't too bad of a day. I started the morning with lots of energy. Up & ready to tackle the house. Got a few things done and then got into an argument with my boyfriend. Kinda put a damper on the rest of the afternoon. Didn't get depressed at all just lost some of my spunk. Spent the rest of the day running kids around etc. Therapy starts in 2 more days. Then hopefully I'll have an official diagnosis.....a mixed blessing.

My Story Part 1

I'm not sure where my story starts exactly. Or should I say when. I can remember as a teen having short bouts of depression but thinking they were fairly normal for any teenager. I can also remember having times of intense happiness and energy but again, thought those were fairly normal for any teenager. Mostly both were based on circumstances. When things were good in my life I was happy, when they weren't I tended to feel more depressed. I honestly still think that is fairly normal.

In my early twenties I think things progressed along about the same. I finished college, got married, had babies. You know, the usual. The first baby came along in 2003 and life progressed along. Life with him was all I imagined it would be.....sleepless nights, smiles & tons of moments of joy. 2 years later came his little sister & brother 3 minutes apart. Yes, twins!! And life really hasn't been the same since.

Having twins, they say, is double the joy and double the trouble. I'd have to agree! My twins are a blessing but after their birth my struggle with mental illness, if it didn't begin, certainly kicked into high gear.

More to come tomorrow. I'm just tired now. Always tired lately....