Wow

I cannot believe I started this blog so long ago. And....I REALLY wish I had kept it up. I've come a long way, and then really not so far since my diagnosis.

Yes, I AM bipolar. Type 2. Since I want this to be my own journey plus an informative blog I'll explain in some other post what the difference between types 1 and 2 are. Both exist in my family.

I have started and then stopped therapy. I was feeling much better after several months of therapy so quit going but now I feel like I probably need it again. I need a different therapist though. The one I had I just didn't feel like I jived with so well. I cannot explain it further than that really. I love, love, love my medication APRN though. She is in the same office as the therapist and she is the one who prescribes my meds. She and I get along well and I just feel great about her care. That helps a ton.

I am now taking Depakote. It is the first and only med I've taken so far. It worked pretty well for awhile. Now, I'm not so sure. But there could be several reasons for that. 1. Winter is coming. It's my least favorite season as I hate to be cold and money gets so much tighter in winter. Those both get me down. I just want to hunker down and stay in bed. That easily leads to depression. I can feel it lingering there too. Like a monster that wants to sink it's claws into me. I put on my mask and give a good show to everyone but I can feel it coming. The depression that is. 2. My current relationship. I am with a very wonderful man. But, yes.....but.....he is difficult. He is very much the love of my life but at the same time this is by far the hardest relationship I have ever been in. Some days I wonder if it should be this hard. I know relationships aren't easy but I'm not sure it should be this much work either. It's not like we fight, cuz we really don't, at all. Instead I just never know where I stand with him. He tells me where, but then doesn't always show it. So, then I start to question his words, and I start to think, and you know that never gets you anywhere good!! But my mind just goes there. It's so annoying and...............well depressing. He knows I am bipolar and is fine with it but yet has never seen me in a deep depression either. I'm not sure how he would handle that. I guess only time will tell. He likes my happy times though :-)

Well, I just wanted to get a post up on here and try to get back to this. I'll try and get back to the article on the 10 signs that I started oh so long ago!! Till then.........